May 1st Friday.
Ive literally got nothing to say anymore. I was at the cafe with my friends and I just kept smiling at them when they were talking to me. I barely say a word. I dont see the point in going if im honest when I have nothing to say, but i go because I force myself to socialise. All I want to do is lie in my bed, curled up in a ball and let time pass me by. I really dont see a point to my existence. Im losing the will to live. Im hanging on by a thread. Don't know how im going to live for the rest of my life. I dont want to grow old, I just dont want to be here anymore. Im so depressed its unreal. Depression will take my life one day. I have enough medication in to end my life, I think about it most days, but like I say, I just can't leave my boys without a mum. So I have to keep getting through each day regardless of how I feel. Life is tough, it really is hard work for me. Its a battle to get through each day without killing myself. Thank god ive got my boys to keep me going. I t...