May 25th Monday.

Jesse hasn't been very well today, but hes had medicine and hes feeling better. Ive been in and out of the house all day, doing bits of gardening. We went get Jensens car washed and cleaned inside. Nipped Home Bargains for some Monster drinks. Collected Jasper on our way home and whilst I cooked tacos for tea, all the boys were out in the back garden doing all the weeding. It was so nice to watch them all do the garden, but at the same time I felt sadness that Jay-Dee wasn't with them. On the way to get Jasper we have to go past the crem, my heart sank knowing Jay-Dee has a flower bed there. Im so glad his ashes are with me at home, because driving past the cemetery knowing our son was buried there would kill me. So im glad hes with his mum. Same with my dad, im glad his ashes are with me. They're both safe and they'll stay with me until I die. I feel ok today, had a few moments of sadness, but ive pushed through. The back garden looks so much better after Damian mowing it and now the boys have all done the weeding. My face and arms are red after being in and out of the house all day. Tomorrow is hair day. Ive been putting it off for months. I dont remember the last time I washed it either. So im going my mums and im getting my roots done. Hopefully ill feel a bit better within myself if my hair looks nice.. the though of having it done though, I hate having my hair done. Been so close to shaving it off, but my mum told me not to. Anyway, we've had tacos for tea with salad and all the sauces. Guacamole, sour cream and salsa. Was lovely. Its 7pm now and I can't wait go bed.