May 9th Saturday.

I dreamt i was pregnant last night and i called the baby Jay after Jay-Dee. Dreaming of being pregnant symbolises new beginnings and personal growth. Such a weird dream to have, but im open to new beginnings what ever that may be and personal growth. Anyway, its 12:25pm and ive just got back from Asda with Jesse. Hes picked a football birthday cake, we've brought candles and a birthday badge for him to wear for school. Hes so excited bless him. Just waiting for my Amazon delivery with the rest of his birthday gifts. Im making chilli tacos for tea. I feel ok today, not as good as I felt yesterday, but im ok. Didn't wake up till half 10 this morning and I really could of slept longer, but I have to get up to feed my dog and cat. I have to stay alive for my kids and animals, who else would look after them like I do? I have to remind myself that people need me alive and thats what keeps me going. My children need their mum. I know my dad will be looking after Jay-Dee for me until I get to see them again. My holiday is fast approaching and im shitting myself. Ive got no choice but to go, so I just need to get on with it. I know we'll be fine once we're there. It'll be nice spend some quality time with Jasper and Jesse and also get a tan haha. Im just nervous about getting to the airport and where to go and how to find my transfers when we arrive. What will be will be, im sure ill figure it out. Need to get my arse in gear and buy some holiday clothes. Ill be packing the night before knowing me haha. Anyway, thats my day.