February 1st Saturday.
I hate the weekends, my son left the house on a Saturday and never returned, he killed himself early hours Sunday morning and it kills me inside. I'm trying to stay busy today so I've cleaned my bathroom and I've just bleached all my kitchen cupboards and draws. I keep looking for cleaning to do just to occupy me. Jesse is going out with Damian today so I've got all his clothes ready. I've done my dishes. I've cooked breakfast for Jensen, eggs on toast and now I'm sat down. It's only 10 past 1 and I can't wait get back into bed. Sleeping is my escape from the world. It's crazy how alone you can feel even though there's people around you. Jasper will be here soon and he sleeps on a Saturday, we get a take away. I love my kids being around me but my heart aches for Jay-Dee. It's crazy because I still expect him to come walking through the door. I've noticed that my mental health declines at the weekend but I just hope it starts to get ...