February 8th Saturday.

Not felt too bad since I spent the day under my blanket all day Thursday. My brother came yesterday morning and stayed till the evening and my friend has been this morning. That's what I need people around me. 

When you're sat alone the mind goes on overdrive doesn't it? Or is it just me?

Anyway, had a good catch up with Rachael and she's starting her driving lessons the end of this month so it's give us both something to look forward to. I have my 3rd lesson on Tuesday and I'm both nervous and excited. It's my dream to be able to drive. I feel so isolated because I don't drive. Life will improve dramatically when I'm driving, I think.

I'm just about to start watching Yellow Stone. My brother has recommended it, he said its brill so I'll give it a go.

I'm just doing some washing and cleaning to keep me busy in between watching this programme. I find it hard to sit and concentrate on a programme if I'm not into it, so we'll see if it's any good. I'll let you know tomorrow. Not sure if I'm going church tomorrow it depends on when Jesse goes out with Damian. 

I spoke about Jay-Dee again today, I didn't cry. I love speaking about him because it keeps his memory alive. 

I just wish he was still here.

It's hard work getting through each day. The strength I have to keep going is unreal. I hope when I'm better mentally, I hope I can help others that are struggling like me. The reason I write this blog is if anyone reads it and feels the way I feel, I hope they know they're not on their own.

I'm still alive for a reason. God has a plan for me I truly believe.