October 17th Saturday.

So Sol was neutered yesterday, the vets said it can take 6 weeks for testosterone to leave his body. Great! Hes gone for my dog again this morning so hes currently locked in Jensens bedroom with him. My nervous system is shot to shit. Im scared of a bloody cat. They're so vicious. Im more scared that he'll attack my dog again. He can't go out for 48 hours after surgery, hes got a follow up appointment Monday at 4pm and I think after that, im letting him outside. The boys dont want me to, but its not them living in fear of a fucking cat. Ive had enough now. If I didn't have the dog, id lock myself in my bedroom and be done with life. 

After we had breakfast, myself and Jesse got dressed and went to get Jesse a haircut. We've been Asda and Jesse asked if id do a chicken dinner for tea, so ive just brought a chicken, veg, potatoes and Yorkshire puddings to make a dinner later with gravy and mint sauce. Can't wait. Love making it and eating it, but then I have to wash all the dishes including my steamer what I do the veg and potatoes in. Oh well, its only a once a week thing.

Im just washing Jesse's uniform ill get that in the dryer when its done. Changed the water in my mop bucket and added loads of bleach. I love the smell of bleach. 

And thats my day, very productive morning. 

Im not feeling too bad upto now, its only 1.17pm so its still early. When I keep busy it does me good, I have less time to sit with my feelings.

Going watch some more of The Mentalist whilst I wait for the washer to finish.