September 22nd Tuesday.

Ive been seeing alot of posts on tiktok about what happens when people die and it says a soul doesnt die, only the body dies, but the soul stays with you and honestly, it gave me some comfort. I know my dad and son are still with me, I just wish they'd send me signs that they're around me. I miss them both so much, but I know my dad will be looking after Jay-Dee for me. 

I feel a bit deflated today. 

Jesse took himself school, so I decided to walk down the bottom of the Abbey to go the shop, I got there and it was shut. Already had anxiety going a different shop on my own, but anyway, I ended up walking from the shop at the bottom of the Abbey to Asda on Werrington Road. I was absolutely shattered, but proud of myself for going alone. I got home and showered. I was sweating. Definitely got my steps in today.

Im just sat now thinking about my dad and son and how much I miss them both. 

Ive applied for a job today, its only a dinner lady job at a special school, but fingers crossed I get it and they give me a chance. Ill keep you updated.

I think a job would do me the world of good mentally, but we'll see how it goes.