September 18th Friday.

My son was punched and kicked in the head this morning at 8.25am on the school grounds, but apparently because it was before half 8 when school opens, basically its not really the schools problem. Im so disappointed in my sons school! My son is ok. I said to the school, that kick to the head could of been fatal and ive already got one dead child. Im furious with the school. I said what is your policy on bullying because this isn't the first time my son has been hit. I just want him home with me. Hes not been school all week, he didn't want to go this morning, but I made him and he gets hit!! Ive told the school he'll be in school from 9am next week, half an hour after everyone else to avoid this cruel behaviour. They said Jesse is ok. I want him straight home from school and in the house where hes safe.

Ive not left the house in days, I need to get out before I crack up. Been so low mentally. Just want to sleep all the time. Last night I couldnt sleep, I just couldnt fall asleep. Feel like ive been up all night watching the clock. That will be because ive missed a few of my night time meds thinking I dont need them, when I clearly do. I use to suffer with insomnia, it was horrendous. Olanzopine knock me out so back on them tonight. 

Ive got to go the shops tomorrow so ive got no choice but to leave the house.

I keep looking at my dad and sons urns on the new shelf in my living room and it breaks my heart, but at the same time, im happier they're both together in their new resting place.

Im just doing a load of washing, im making a spag bol for tea.

Oh yeh, yesterday I meal prepped 7 lots of chicken and veg. Im on a health kick. Im determined to lose some bloody weight!

I hope Jesse is ok :(