August 29th Saturday.

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I go to bed at night hoping that ill see my dad and my son in my sleep. I very rarely do and it breaks my heart. I hate being awake and having to participate in life, but i do for my kids. I keep living for them. If only they knew they were the only reason I keep going. 
Ive realised that everything ive been through has broken me, but im a stronger person, if that makes sense. Ive got to be made of strong stuff to keep going. There are times when I just want to give up, but I push through. Them suicidal thoughts are no joke, they can be so overwhelming, but I fight through them for my boys.
The ONLY reason i keep going is for my children or id of been dead years ago.


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