January 26th Monday.

Once again I chose sleep over the school run. Ffs. Definitely going get a fine. Its just some days I wake up so drained. I got up and brushed my teeth and I saw how cosy Jesse was, so I climbed back into bed and cuddled up with him. Yes he sleeps with me. All my boys slept with me. Im making the most of it before he grows up and spends all his time locked away gaming in his bedroom. They're not little for long. Anyway, im still chatting to Natalie. Just need get over my anxiety so I can actually meet up with her. She's older than me. Think shes 46. My heads a complete mess. I enjoy chatting to her, but im also happy on my own. Well, im not happy, but you know what I mean. Im content with it just being me and the boys. Im finding it hard to let someone in. It'll happen one day. Brought a toastie machine yesterday. My brother and sister are always on about how good they are, so thought id buy one. Long story short, Jensen has taken 4 cheese and bean toasties work haha. Had to test it out. Oh yeh forgot say, Natalie asked for my address so she could send me something and what ever it is shes ordered, is coming this Wednesday, so ill let you know what it is. Going get a shower and wait for Jasper to come see me. Bloody love my children so much. Miss my son and dad, like I do everyday. Mentally, im doing ok. Mental health is poor, but its been worse. So im winning.