June 12th 2022 17:45pm

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 Emotions are running high already as it's my baby Jasper's 14th birthday 💕 

Jasper was always my baby with having a bit of a gap between him and his 2 older brothers who are Irish Twins i think they call it or i may of just made that part up.. anyway what was i saying?? no seriously, that's how bed my memory has become. Yes Jesse is my baby too.. ok so anyway.....

So obviously I'm on yet another downer, don't think I've missed a day this week.. go me!

I for the 1st time since i had my Memory Bear made out of my Dad's clothes that Damian kindly brought for me off my boys, just broke my heart. I hugged my bear thinking i was hugging my Dad & i just let the tears fall from my eyes. This wasn't a silent cry, i let my emotions cry out & i didn't care if anyone heard me or saw me hugging a bear.

I needed this, i needed to cry, i needed to finally let it out. I just realised, my Dads never coming back & that shit hurts!!!!!


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