September 12th Saturday.

Brought my dad's ashes down today and hes now currently next to Jay-Dees on the fire until Damian puts me my shelf up to put them both on in the living room. Last night I was moving dad's stuff off my draws and putting it all away safely. On top of my draws in my bedroom was like a shrine to him and its just become too much having so much heart ache everywhere. Im not forgetting my dad, im just putting some stuff into draws in my room.

It was so hard last night putting dads stuff in draws, but its something I need to do for my own sanity.

Its hard now having two lots of ashes sitting on my fire place. Im just hoping my floating shelf will hold them both.

I miss my dad and my son so much.

Jesse has been a party today at Inflato and whilst he was gone I went Asda with Jensen get stuff to make a chilli for tea, then I watched Romeo & Juliet. One of my favourite films.

Ive not felt too bad today, im tired. Didn't get much sleep last so want go bed early tonight.

Jasper is going at half 8 then ill get into bed.

Started reading my Bible today and highlighting bits that give me motivation or some sort of healing. Hoping my faith grows as I read through it.