July 15th Wednesday.

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Didn't get up again for the school run. Dont know what's wrong with me, im just so tired all the time. Jesse's not complaining haha. We'll start a fresh September. I am going to try and take him tomorrow though. 
I take that much medication, im wondering if thats what's making me so tired in the morning? I dont know.
Since taking Mitazapine along with Olanzopine and Venlafexine ive noticed an improvement in my low mood. Im not as suicidal as I have been. I mean, im still depressed, but im dealing with it better. Im carrying my grief better. Still wouldnt say no to dying today, but i have no thoughts on doing it myself. So thats good.
England play tonight, hoping for a win. 
This Reta injection that im on is amazing, its really suppressing my appetite, finally something that works and its only £70 a month which is cheap compared to other weight loss jabs ive looked into. Just want shift a few stone, well, 5 stone to be precise. Im still eating, but no where near the amount I was before the jab.
Jasper goes Portugal early hours of the morning on a lads holiday. I pray hes stays away from drugs and doesn't drink too much. Im going be worrying until he returns. 
Anyway, im feeling ok. Im not suicidal, im carrying my grief better and im cooking a chilli for tea. Im not happy about being alive, but I dont wish I was dead today, so ill take the win!

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