August 25th Monday.

Jesse didn't want to come my mums with me today whilst I got my hair done, so I left him at home with Jasper. So anyway, its a big thing for me to leave the house alone, but I got ready and I walked to 2 shops by myself and then got a taxi to my mums. Leaving the house on my own and walking to the shops when I have really bad anxiety is a big deal for me. My hair is finally all done. Ive got a before and after photo. The after photo is wet hair so it'll be even lighter when its dried off. My head feels so tender from having it bleached. Its been that long since I last had it done, probably why my head is tender. I did my mums hair whilst I was there so she has no roots now too. We both let ourselves go over the holidays I think. Its amazing how much better I feel now my hair has been done.  I'm not feeling to bad today, mentally speaking. Wish my dad and son were here, but they're not, and I've got to live with it. Its hard you know, living is hard work. Not sure what im doing for tea today. We had a McDonald's last night and i still kept within my 1400 calories. Also, my 2nd jab didn't make me ill thank god. I was worried I'd be dead ill again like last week, but im ok. Can't wait get back to school next week and get back in a routine. I miss seeing everyone in the cafe. I keep thinking of studying again, not sure what I'd study though, I was just thinking of something to occupy my mind. I dont know, ill think about it. I'm 41 and still dont know where life is taking me. I guess im just thankful im alive still. Anyway, here's the before and after pics. The before pics are gross.