July 12th Saturday.

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I'm doing ok, I've been doing ok for the past few days which is good. I think about my dad and son everyday and that will never change, but in time I'll learn to live with the grief i feel. I'm just glad I've had a few better days. Not wanted to kill myself for a few days so that's really good. Its a step in the right direction. I'm going church tomorrow, I've not been for a few weeks and I miss going. I'm not doing anything today, except clean. So I've hoovered around, done some washing and pegged it out because its red hot today, and then I went and got a shower and washed my hair. Nothing exciting. I'm just glad I feel better. Them days where im suicidal are horrible. Its a battle getting through the day, but I do and that's the main thing.
Ive brought my fan downstairs because its too warm and im going through the Menopause so you can imagine the hot sweats. I'm on HRT but I still have hot flushes. I sleep with a fan on every night, I have done for years. I can't sleep without the sound of the fan, weird isn't it. Even through the winter I have my fan on. I invested in a Dyson Cooler fan, don't know if I mentioned it before, but its the best £290 I've ever spent. Its amazing. 
Anyway, that's it for today. Jasper will be here soon and we'll probably get a take away later. Enjoy your Saturday. 

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