April 21st Tuesday.

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Weighed myself this morning and it said id lost 2lb. Just weighed myself again and its saying I gained 4lb. I have just eaten so I hope thats why, but fuck me, 4lbs! 2 weeks now ive been eating healthy, its killing me haha. Getting a pizza for tea tonight for the kids and I wont be having any. Dieting is torture. Couldn't go see my friends at the cafe this morning because when I got to school Amazon said they were 3 stops away, so had to rush back so my packages didn't get stolen off my doorstep. Im feeling ok today, mentally speaking. Jasper is here so im not on my own. Jesse will be finishing school in 35 minutes. The sun is shining and its not been a bad day. If I weigh myself in the morning and I have gained 4lb im going be devastated. That will be the curry I had Saturday night. My own fault. Ill carry on dieting, im trying my best to lose weight. Its so hard! 
I was thinking this morning about my dad's final days in hospital and had to snap myself out of it. I think about him and Jay-Dee every single day. I miss them so much. Anyway, im doing ok.

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