April 16th Thursday.

Had a text off the school saying Jesse will be getting a certificate in assembly tomorrow morning and im welcome to attend. Hes worked super hard this week and he'll be getting a certificate. Super proud! Ive not told him as I want to surprise him in the morning when he sees me walk into his assembly to watch him. Hes no idea hes getting one. I think Damian is coming too, which will make Jesse's day. I was thinking about how depressed I am, along with grieving, but I always show up for my kids. I get my house work done. Just need to tackle the showering. Can't wait to see Jesse's little face light up when hes called up to the front of the assembly. Its little things like this that keep me going. My friend asked me if I wanted go out today and I turned her down. Just not feeling socialising. I went the cafe this morning and stayed for an hour and then my social battery ran out. I joined in with conversations as much as I could, ive just got nothing to say anymore. Unless its about my dad or son, im just not interested. Sad isn't it, but true. I want to talk about my father and son, I want people to remember them. Ive not felt too bad today, i guess. Depressed, but im ok. Still dieting and fasting. Im hoping for another good weight loss come next Tuesday. If I dont lose anymore ill be gutted because im trying so hard. Im on a calorie deficit so I should lose. The amount of water im drinking is ridiculous. Think im drinking about 2-3 litres a day, so you can imagine how much im on the toilet haha. One more early get up, then a lie in. Can't wait. Anyway, thats my day.