February 2nd Monday.

Didn't take Jesse school, was up through the night with acid on my throat, sulphur burps and diarrhoea. Had a Chinese last night and it must of lay too heavy on my stomach. No more Chinese for me, clearly didn't sit well inside. Jensen took me Asda to get stuff to make a chilli for tea. Been speaking to Natalie still, its going ok. Jesses in bed and i won't be far behind. Had a sad moment, missing my dad and son. I try not stay sad for too long, I have to try and snap myself out of it. Meeting my sister up Hanley in the morning for a coffee and a catch up, which will be nice. Still got some money left on my Primark gift card I had for my birthday, so ill probably end up with more new pjs haha. Oh you can tell im getting old. Been tired all day today, but that'll be because I slept shit last night!. Jensen has been looking for apartments in Manchester, hes getting ready to leave home. Im going to miss him so much. Hate my children growing up, makes me sad that they won't need me forever. Its hard seeing Jensen grow up when hes only 11 months younger than Jay-Dee. Jay-Dee should still be here living his life. You know, he was one month away from being a qualified brick layer. He was so close to his goal and he went and killed himself. I will never understand why and it kills me everyday. Forever 21 my baby will be. My heart aches all day long. I miss my dad and son so much. Life's cruel!! Anyway, thats my Monday.