February 14th Saturday.

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So today ive had a card and my favourite flowers delivered. Roses and Lillie's. Ill post a pic at the end of this blog. Its been years since ive had anything for Valentines Day, so its been so nice. I feel loved. Its about time someone made me happy. Ive had my friend here for hours, she was here that long we drank 4 cups of tea each haha. Its been nice have a catch up with her. My day has been lovely. Waiting for Jasper to come and we're getting pizza for tea. I wished my boys a happy Valentines day this morning and told them how much I love them. Life's too short to not tell someone you love them. Since my dad passed away and then Jay-Dee, its made me realise how precious life is. Today im grateful im alive. Love my boys more than life itself. Im hoping things work out with me and Natalie. It would be nice to feel happiness. You never know, this could be my year where everything works out for me. Mental health is still shit, but I have a smile on my face today. When the delivery man knocked on my door with flowers I had a massive smile on my face. I feel loved today. Ive prayed my heart out for this. Miss my dad and son so much, im always going to have this ache in my heart, but Natalie is easing the pain. Can't wait to see her Monday when we go out for food. Ive got to eat infront of her for the first time haha. Ill he nervous. Ill be honest, im scared of moving on. Im scared to let someone in, incase she hurts me. Ive been through so much, I just can't risk taking a chance on the wrong person. Im protecting my peace. Everything's going well at the moment so I just hope it carries on this way. Ive got so much love to give, I just dont want to give it to the wrong person. I hope God sent me Natalie. Oh yeh, im gay by the way hahaha. Due know, I came out as gay 10 years ago. I was 32 and now im 42. 42 and mentally unwell, what a catch I am haha. Seriously though, Natalie is aware of what ive been through and how bad my mental health is. 7 weeks tomorrow since we first added each other on Facebook. Time flies.. I really hope shes the one, but only time will tell.

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