January 23rd Friday.

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Didn't go on my date last night. I couldnt go through with it. What's wrong with me?? Im scared to move on in life. I didn't message her all yesterday and shes messaged this morning. Ive told her I have EUPD (Emotionally unstable personality disorder). Wonder if thats why my mood is always up and down. One minute I want to meet her and the next I dont. What am I scared of? I just keep thinking im broken. Keep thinking im not good enough for anyone. God I could scream! I hate being alive. I hate participating in life. Im only here for my children. Why am I finding it so hard to let someone in? Anyway, thank god its Friday. Jesses sleeping Damians Saturday night so myself and Jasper are going to bath the dog and the kitten. We're going have a take away and ill find a movie. Looking forward to it. I absolutely love doing things with my boys. They really are my reason to live. Mental health is a bit shit, but thats nothing new. Im cooking minted lamb burgers with bacon on for tea. Just watching something on Prime, its new called Steal. Its really good if you wanted something to watch. Happy Friday to you.

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