January 18th Sunday.

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Can't be bothered with small talk, messaging this girl and I really can't be arsed with it. Feel like its me forcing conversations and its just not flowing for me. Maybe im just meant to be on my own because this dating shit is hard work. Feel a bit shit today mentally, ive been seen a couple of my friends, once again had to force myself so this house doesnt consume me. Can't wait go bed. Im tired. Was so nice last night climbing into fresh bedding. You can't beat it. Had myself a shower this morning, go me! Haha. Im just plodding on, living this painful life ive been given to live. Feel a bit fed up. Im forcing myself to chat to someone because I feel left out in the world, i feel like its what I should be doing to "fit in". In actual fact, I should probably stay alone until I learn to love myself. How can I possibly love anyone when I dont love me? Anyway, Jesses still out with Damian and im catching up on Love Island. Sad arent I? Im not going stress about this dating shit. What will be will be. Its in God's hands..

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