September 26th Friday.

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Life has knocked me down over and over again and I just keep getting back up. Where is my strength coming from? I dont know how im doing it. I show up everyday regardless of how im feeling. I'm proud of myself for not giving up on life. Ive thought about drinking the past few days, but ive not given in. What would I achieve from starting to drink again? I'm strong because im sober. I'm strong because I have faith. I'm strong because I have 3 children that need their mum. I have to stay sober, my life depends on it. Felt a bit gutted that my ex Zoe has moved on, but the more I think about it, I finally feel free. I can finally move on with my life knowing shes someone else's problem haha. I did a tan last night and was up at half 6 this morning getting a shower. Its crazy how much a tan can improve your mood. My brother will be here when he's finished work. Mentally im not doing too bad. Its Jay-Dees 23rd birthday Tuesday, the same day as my therapy. Not looking forward to it. I can imagine my mood will be low that day. Spoke to my dad and son earlier and told them im finally free from Zoe. My dad hated her so he'll be happy. I do hope im making them both proud. I miss them so much.

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