August 23rd Saturday.

Washed, dried and straightened my hair last night so its ready for tonight. Got massive roots, can't wait get them done Monday. Looking forward to getting out the house tonight and having a meal with the girls. My hair is down my back now, I keep thinking of going short but I like it when its been done. Its just a task doing it. I'm 4lb down in week one of Mounjaro, probably because of all the shitting I've been doing. The side effects are horrible. I'm meant jab again today but ill do it after I've been out for my meal. Got my heart set on a mixed grill. Just hoping im not ill again after I jab.. 1 week left of the school holidays, the last 5 weeks have flown. Can't wait get back into a routine and see my friend's at the cafe. Jensen arrived safe in Colombia thank god. He's there for 11 nights I think. He'll be 22 a week today. Jay-Dee should be turning 23 next month, im so gutted he's not here anymore. All I ever think about is my dad and son. PTSD is real and im living with it. I'm proud of myself for not giving up on life on them dark days. I'm trying my best to live this life I've been given. Some days are heavy. Today is one of those days. I'm sat on my own over thinking things. My son and dad had so much more life to live. My heart is broken. No amount of therapy can help me, ill be grieving forever. I was thinking about all the people I have lost since my dad's death. Ive had alot of death to deal with. I ask myself, why am I still here?