August 1st Friday.

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Ive got my brother here, and Jasper and Jesse, all sat in the living room and yet I feel so alone. Grief has been heavy this past week. Being alive is hard work. When my brother and Jasper go i plan on finishing painting Jesse's bedroom, well its just the cutting in that needs doing so going get it done. Jesse and I slept in till 11am today. Its going kill me when the schools back open and I've got to get up at 7am. I'm enjoying the sleep whilst I can. I feel tired today but im going push myself to do some painting. It'll do me good. Need to get some wall art for Jesse's room to make it his own. It will always be Jay-Dees room to me, which is a shame for Jesse. I'm sure as time goes on it'll be more Jesse's room. Its painful decorating it because I feel like im losing Jay-Dee all over again. Does that make sense? Jasper's going home now and then Ashley is going after he's finished his drink. Then im going to paint. That's it for today. 

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