July 10th Thursday.

So I've just been the Ash Bank for a breakfast with two of my friends, Kayleigh and Tom and I've come home and walked my dog. Ive walked her now before it gets too hot for her. Don't want her burning her paws. I feel ok today, the only problem is that we all know these better days don't last. Jesse's got one more week at school then its the big holidays. I'm hoping the weathers nice so I can take him out through the holidays, but we've had a good few weeks of sun these past weeks so you watch it rain over the holidays. I see my friends at school every morning in the cafe, was nice to just nip out with a couple of them for breakfast. I see my other friends a couple of times a week. Ive got a good support network of friends. I'm thankful. Another day of not wanting to die, thank God. Its days like this that give me hope for my future. I booked that holiday for next July to give me something to look forward to, incentive to not kill myself haha. Sad but true. My anxiety about going abroad on my own with Jasper and Jesse is through the roof. I keep thinking what if I can't find the transfer to the hotel. I'm over thinking already and its a year away for god sake. I just want to get better. I just want to be normal. I want to enjoy life. Hard work being alive.