May 22nd Thursday.

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I've felt better yesterday and today. My friend came last night for a few hours which cheered me up. Today hasn't been to bad because my brother came down for the day after he finished work. He starts work at stupid o clock in the morning and then he's done by dinner time, so he's happy.
I'm meeting Tom tomorrow for food too so that'll be nice.
I feel like I need to be doing something to keep my mind occupied. 
My friends know I'm struggling and I'm so thankful for them all that get me through each day.
Jesse broke up today for half term and its given out rain all next week, how fucking typical. I know it's the evening, but I've just pegged a load of washing out in the hopes it doesn't rain over night.
I brought a bottle of whiskey a few days ago for my brother, for his birthday and it didn't bother me one bit. I thought it would make me want a drink but it didn't. I'm 3 and a half years sober, it's crazy to think I've gone that long with zero alcohol. From drinking a bottle of whiskey a day to nothing. I'm feeling proud.
Some days I feel like I'm doing well with my mental health, but then the bad days out weigh the good. I'm hoping that will change though as time goes on.
I think I'm stronger than I think i am because I keep making it through each day without killing myself, so that's good.
My plastic jewellery has arrived ready to change all my piercings over before my CT scan next Tuesday. I'm dreading it because I'll be going alone and i know how bad my anxiety can be. Let's hope they don't find anymore cancer. Its the waiting for the results that will drive me insane. If my cancer is back it might just tip me over the edge. I can't take anything else. 
I'm going a baptism Sunday, my friends baby is being baptised so that's going to be a lovely morning. I'm looking forward to it. I've got nothing to wear so I'm just going casual. 
I'm currently watching Dexter on Netflix, don't know if you've seen it but, it's good. 
Jasper's come to sleep tonight and Saturday, I see him everyday and i love it. My boys are my world, they keep me going everyday.
Anyway, that's all for today. Enjoy what's left of your Thursday. 

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