May 12th Monday.

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I don't know if it's because it's Monday or I'm just having a shit day, but I woke up feeling drained this morning. I came back from the school and curled up in a ball on the settee and fell asleep for a few hours. I've felt tired all day. I feel physically drained along with being mentally drained. I wish I could stay in bed all day and shut the world out. Its tiring trying to live. 
I've been Asda 3 times today, once before the school run. I'll tell you why.. I brought sweets for Jesse to take in school for his birthday but I didn't buy enough, so we went to buy more and he took them in school for his friends. Then I went after school this morning to get stuff for tea and then before the school run this afternoon to buy a baguette. That's alot of times in 1 day to visit Asda.
I can't wait get into bed. I've had enough of today. 
Diets gone shit today, I ate a big dairy milk.
I fucking give up trying to lose weight, I'm fed up of it. Why can't I just be happy with my weight gain!? I hate life,  honestly, I hate being alive.
Trying to live whilst battling depression is draining. 
I've ordered a canvas today of Jay-Dee to put on my stairs.
As you go up my stairs on the right hand side, the wall is covered with canvases. They're of the children and some family  and I love them.
I'll try get a photo to show you.
Anyway it's 7pm now, time for my night time medication. 
God I'm fed up.

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