November 4th Monday.

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After I blogged yesterday, I spent the whole of the afternoon crying my eyes out.
I made a tiktok about my son and it just set me off.
Today has been better, not alot better but I've not cried.
Back to the school run this morning, killed me getting up early again.
I never usually go back bed through the day but, today I climbed back into bed fully dressed. I feel so drained all the time.
Every day I wish the day away, I can't wait to fall asleep so I don't have to be alive.
I'm wishing my days away, it's so sad. 
What a sad human being I have become. I don't find any happiness from my days. 
Don't get me wrong, my children fill me with happiness but other then them, nothing, I don't find any sort of happiness out of my days of being alive.
How can I change this? I need to feel better mentally.
I feel like I've got a long road ahead to getting better haven't I :(

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