November 17th 6 months.

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Jensens gf arrived Friday from Colombia and I met her yesterday. She seems like a nice girl and Jensen seems smitten. I'm happy for them both. 
It's Sunday and it's been 6 months without my child.
6 months?? How has it gone that fast?
Just felt myself welling up, I could cry writing this. My eyes have tears in them and I'm trying not to blink.
I've just had a bath and washed my hair.
I HATE my hair, I really hate it. 
It came up on my memories the other day from 4 years ago when I shaved all my hair off. I could easily do it again, that's how shitty I feel. 
I feel so fed up of trying to do life.
I'm having a bad day aren't I?
I need to remember the better days I have in order to get through the low days I have.
You want me tell you why I despise my hair, not only does it fall out in clumps but, I have naturally curly hair and I fucking hate it. 
It's a task washing it because then I have to apply my products I use, then blow dry it and then straighten it. Its an absolute ball ache. I really do hate my hair.
I've got no plans for today except tackle my hair. God give me strength.
I started watching a series on Prime yesterday called Cross and its really good. I've only got 3 episodes left out of 10.
I don't really watch anything on the TV, it's usually just on for the background noise but, I've gotten into this Cross.
Anyway, I'm off to tackle my hair.


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