June 9th 2024 It's Been A Week.

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It's been a week and I've still not seen my beautiful boy. I just want to see my son. I need to see my son.
How have I made it through a week?
I've done nothing but cry for a week, I don't know how I'm still alive..
My days have just drifted into each other, I have no recollection of anything I've done.
I've battled everyday for the past 7 days to stay alive. I've wanted to die for such a long time and then my son died.
Do you know how hard it is to even exist when all you want to do is die and be with your son? Living has become torture.
I've got no interest in anything.
I've got no interest in being alive.
I smile at my kids but I'm dead behind that fake smile they see.
I just don't know how I'm ever going to get better. 
The sadness I carry inside of me is consuming me. I'm riddled with grief. I'm plagued by death.
I really don't know how I'm going to carry on...

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