June 8th 2024 A Week Tomorrow

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It will be a week tomorrow and I've still not seen my baby boy.
The post mortem will take a week.
I don't know how I've made it through this past week. I just keep crying.
I feel like this can't be happening but also know that it is happening.
The hurt I feel knowing I will never see my baby again is killing me inside.
The lyrics to his funeral song keep going around and around and around in my head.
"The Little Boy Made For Me In The Stars"
I'm slowly going insane. 
The longing to see your child is torture.
I don't know how you heal when you lose a child. 
I am broken and I will never be fixed.
No amount of counselling will fix my broken heart.
I will be broken until the day I see my son again.
I keep praying he's with my father.
2020 I lost my dad to cancer
2021 I had cancer
2022 I went sober 
2023 I had a breakdown
2024 my beautiful boy killed himself...

My life will never be the same.

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