April 18th 2024 Craving Alcohol 😩

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I really don't know who I am anymore and on top of that, I'm craving alcohol..
I keep thinking, should I start drinking again, could I have 1 or 2 then stop?
Would I go back to drinking all the time?
Do I want to ruin over 2 years of sobriety?
What if I just have 1 drink?
😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭
Fucking fed up of battling with life, everyday is a battle to survive and I'm getting so tired of it all.
After my dad passed away I don't know who I am anymore, it breaks my heart because I used to be so out going and bubbly and now I feel I'm just a shell of a person.
I feel dead inside, I'm on that much medication I feel numb to everything.
I get little pleasure out of being alive. 
The only reason I haven't ended my life is because I couldn't bare my children feeling the way I do over losing a parent.
Well, thanks for listening to me moan x

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