28th December 2023

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So, all over Christmas myself and my children have all taken it in turns to be sick.
The sickness bug well & truly took is all out!
I'm glad Christmas is over, I hate in now my dad isn't here, it's just not the same anymore and I don't look forward to it.
I'm still sober and it's coming upto January 1st when I'll be 2 years sober.
I have craved alcohol so much it's unreal over Christmas, you'd think nearly 2 years in I'd be ok but nope..
Anyway, like I say I am still sober so that's good.
Christmas morning I had my 4 boys sat with me opening their presents and it hit me hard that they are my reason to be alive, to be here for them.
Can you imagine Christmas morning if I'd of killed myself, I would ruin their lives. They'd feel like I feel, completely lost, but on Christmas morning I felt even just for a moment like I belonged. I absolutely loved seeing all 4 of my boys together and sat with their mum.
I'm getting stronger day by day, I can feel it.
Today I feel blessed to still be alive 🙏🏼 

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