Sobriety. June 13th 2023.

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So today I am 528 days sober, over 16 months without alcohol. Is it easy? Hell no, but staying sober means my kids keep me longer. Not going lie, being sober is shit but being sober also means I stay alive. Its right what the saying is.. Alcohol is a depressant. I've tried to commit suicide whilst under the influence. Now i'm sober I can handle my emotions better, I can sort of snap myself out of a depressive mood, well most of the time, but in alcohol its so hard to deal with life. The amount of coffee I drink daily is rediculous but what else am I suppose to do? Seem to have a small addiction to Coke Zero too, kind of helps with cravings. Yes, after 16 months you still crave alcohol. It's hard just lately because the weather is so nice, I just want to be sat in a beer garden. The way I get myself out of wanting a drink is to think to myself, it's all fun and games drinking until i drink too much and end up suicidal. So you see, I have to stay sober. I've lost alot of friends along the way, I barred myself out of pubs because it would be torture and even after going this long without a drink I won't lie, I could just drink a Jack Daniels with ice and a splash of diet coke. That was my drink.. love Jack Daniels! Oh well. I hope one day I blog about how fantastic my life is, it's not today but I sure do hope one day I smile a genuine smile. Take care xxx

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