Selfcare.

Forced myself this evening to get a bath and wash my hair! People see a happy smiley Ann-louise, but inside, I am really sad. I can go days without brushing my hair or even teeth. If you suffer with depression you will know what I mean. Selfcare does not exist. We just don't care. So, as I was saying, I have bathed, washed my hair that is droppping out in chunks due to the menopause, shaped my brows and tinted them and amoungst all this, I am still sad inside. I'm just getting better at hiding it. I'm not getting better, I have become numb to anything and everything. That will be the medication. January is the most depressing month of the year, the longest month, feels like it lasts forever then when it ends the year goes by in the blink of an eye. I know I have probably said this before but how have I made it to 2023. Honestly I thought I would be dead by now.. I guess I am thankful to still be here because my boys would be devastated if I ever did something stupid. They are honestly hand on heart my reason to live. Oh, I even shaved my legs today, sounds like the simpliest thing to do but not for me, selfcare has become such a task. I can't wait for the day when I am thriving in life and not just surviving. I know it will happen, I just need to stay strong and wait for better days. Going try go sleep early tonight, I've felt mentally drained this week (it is friday tomorrow), the week has been long. Goodnight xxx