⚠️SelfHarm.

 38 years of age and I still sh, I have struggled with sh (self-harm) since my teenage years, if you've suffered yourself, you'll understand where I'm about to come from..

I'll be our voice and explain a bit about sh. for those who are lucky enough to of never had to go through this illness. I'm saying illness because that is exactly what it is.

When you suffer with depression, sh unfortunately for me came part and parcel. It was never just depression or sh, lucky ol' me got both!!

Let me start by clearing something up, we/i  don't sh to die, we don't want to kill ourselves. We don't do it for attention, we do it because it's a release from pent up anger, frustration, loneliness, emptiness, sorrow, I could go on, but I think you get what I'm trying say.

I don't want to die; I don't even want to take a blade to my own skin but inside I am screaming for help.

Silent screams that no one could hear, screams that if came out, would scare people around.

No point screaming out loud because how would people understand you, when you don't even understand yourself. I've noticed through my years of suffering with depression, which is now Chronic Depression, nobody understands and let's face it, no one fucking cares!

I feel like an inconvenience in life.

Shall I tell you something? 

I am that lost in life, I don't know who I am anymore. I've got no care to be alive and that is really sad isn't it. I say it over and over again but the only reason I am alive today is because I am a mum.

I wouldn't change a thing, but if I didn't have my children at least I could have died already...