Church.

 Don't know if i have mentioned before but, 4 Sunday's ago i found myself in church.

I have either lost my mind completely or i have had some sort of spiritual awakening, regardless of what you think, i am sticking with the latter.

I do feel like since i had my surgery for cancer that something changed in me, i feel like i had some sort of epiphany this year, first i stopped drinking alcohol, then i end up in church hahahaa (if i don't laugh, i will cry) but seriously though, what has happened to me??

Anyway, back to the church thing, a few weeks back, in the evening ( i may be repeating myself) i was sat on my back doorstep, it was dark, i was feeling really low as usual and i asked myself why i was still alive. I thought to myself, these exact words 'you'd be better off dead' and then after that something happened, i started seeing things you wouldn't usually see, like signs let's say. So that's when the publishing of the eBook came about, the words i'd been writing the past few years were meant to be read by others, to help others like me, so that's what i did. As soon as i am in church i know i am where, i am meant to be, i feel so much peace within, time to truly reflect on everything. I cried again today in church, and i didn't even have to say why, my church family silently understood my troubles and where there to understand and to love. 

xxxx