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 I am trying my best to stick around for my children but right at this very moment, as i write this, i want to die.

I've never hated life so much. 

I can't seem to do anything right, all i do is cook, clean, wash the dishes, wash/dry/iron the boys clothes and pay bills that are sky high.

... and this is meant to be life????????

I've got no social life anymore, i don't see a single person until i do the school run.

I don't drink alcohol, well because if i did, i can guarantee you'd have attended my funeral already.

I have been treated like shit from the age of 17, all my young adult life has been ruined and any bit of love i've had shown towards me, gets snatched away because i'm not important enough.

My mums side of the family have disowned me because of my mental health, my brother has cut me dead, roughly 8 months ago and he was my best friend along with my Dad. My mum tries help me but i don't think she really understands the depth of my illness.

I message the boys dad and some times he's nice to me, some times he makes me feel worse. 

I've got no one and i can't do this anymore.

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