Turns out i hit rock bottom

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2 days ago was my dad's 57th birthday & a year since his funeral.
What a year I've had, hands down the worst year of my 37 years of being alive.
I've wanted to unalive myself so much but I reached out to professionals & finally im getting help 🙏🏼 
I don't want to die but, I don't want to live like this.
After dad dying & my own cancer, I didn't realise how bad my mental health had actually got. It took for me to completely withdraw from life for me to ask for help..
I went a good 3 weeks, without bathing, washing my hair, some days I didn't brush my teeth. The housework felt like it was too much to deal with, everything got too much & I just wanted to end it all but I didn't, the reason I didn't is my 4 boys..
If my mental health is this bad, how could I unalive myself & my boys end up feeling the way I am if they were to lose me!?
I've now spoke to a psychiatrist & I have a face to face January 13th 2022.
Surely the only way is up after the shit I've been through.

Merry Christmas to whoever reads my blogs & I'll catch up again soon xoxo

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