I've been wanting to write on my blog but I've been stuck as to how I write about how I'm feeling, I'm really struggling with how much I miss my dad & every ailment I have i keep thinking my cancer has come back. I'm suffering with sciatica which keeps coming and going on the right hand side of my back, my mind automatically thinks I've got cancer in my back. I've had a constant headache since having covid, I take paracetamol on a daily basis. I don't like taking tablets unless I really need to. Dad always said don't take them unless needed or your body will get used to them and not work.
I had some money from an insurance policy because I was covered if I ever had cancer, I may be morbid because I've been paying it for 12 years and life insurance but look now.. I've had cancer and a payout.
I've booked to go New York for my birthday in January as a treat to myself and the first thing I thought about was 'imagine jumping off the Empire State building' 😳 I mean really!!??
Its so hard to understand my depression so I don't expect anyone else to understand.
I just want to be "normal" what ever normal is, I'm sick of having to remember to take my antidepressants everyday, I'm ill if I forget, its like my body goes into withdrawal. Its horrible.
I start HRT patches today, thank god! I can not cope with these hot sweats and I'm hoping it helps with the constant headaches I have.
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