😓

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Feeling really deflated just lately, not sure where my life is going. The kids break up today for 6 weeks & all I can think is, thats 6 weeks of doing what?? 
My sleeping is worse than ever, the past few nights I have seen every hour on the clock, I take Zopiclone and I wake a few times with them and I'm drowsy the next day so I only really take them at the weekend with doing the school run.
Keep looking through photos of my dad and its heartbreaking 💔 I am just heartbroken, still after 8 months without him its just as hard as the day he left this earth.
I'm sat listening to his favourite music and its so hard, I keep trying remind myself that everybody loses people they love but then I make myself angry, I don't care about other people and thinking about their loss doesn't help me with losing my best friend. It makes me angry because my dad had years and years ahead of him and its been taken away, cruely!! 
I've started to think about my cancer and thats only due to the mess of the scar I have going up my stomach, I already had body issues so this has just topped off how much I hate the way I look, so thanks cancer for fucking something else up!!!! 😭😭😭😭
Roll on bed time and hope I wake in a better mood tomorrow 😓

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