Zero energy!! Children 1st Cancer 2nd!!!

I've already brushed upon the not sleeping part of my life..

The sleeping has always been a problem but when dad was diagnosed terminal it became a hell of alot worse, constant worry that dad would die through the night and I wasn't there 😢

Id lie awake constantly thinking about the pain he must be in and how alone he must feel, I now i know first hand how alone he must of felt and how worried he must of been now I'm having the same feelings 💔 

I know I've not been diagnosed terminal and I hope I never do, but hearing that you've got cancer sure does hit you hard. I keep hope in my heart my results aren't terminal 🙏🏼

I remember dad telling me he had terminal cancer and I remember dropping to the floor like id just been winded by a huge punch to the stomach, the exact same feeling happened when I was sat on my own and heard the words 'its been confirmed cancer'...

Now at night not only can I not sleep because I miss dad more than anything, but now I think about all the things he must of had going around in his head that are going around in mine.

I see every hour on the clock and yet I still have to find the energy every day to get up and be a mum!

I can't catch up on sleep because my boys need me and the house needs looking after for them.

My boys are my priority.. sorry Cancer but you'll always come 2nd to my children 👊🏼