April 2nd Thursday.

Been out today with Jesse to meet my sister and niece, Athena. Was nice to see them both. We went Costa and for myself and Jesse to have a bottle of Oasis, it cost nearly £6.. £6 for 2 bottles of pop. Absolutely ridiculous, yes I brought them as we were thirsty, but to then go in Poundland and they're a £1. Disgusting. Anyway, went Primark and brought some more new pjs. I have more pjs than I do clothes, but they're all covered in little holes where my cat claws the fuck out of my legs. Hes only 5 months old so im hoping he grows out of it because he can be quite pevish haha. Went round a few shops, got some bits from Iceland and came home. Straight into my new pjs haha. Was looking at the holiday stuff in Primark which ill have to start buying soon because our holiday to Magaluf is fast approaching. Im honestly dreading it. Ill be ok when we arrive, im just panicking about the airport and finding our transfers when we arrive. I have to keep telling myself ill be ok. Just had chicken and rice for tea, could do with losing a few pounds, but it is what it is. I wont really care when im on holiday and its all inclusive, so yes, I will be eating lots of cake on holiday. Ill lose weight when im dead!. Haven't felt too bad today mentally speaking. Had a few moments where ive felt sad thinking of my dad and son, but im ok. Done me good to get out of the house a few hours, plus the sun was shining. Got Jasper here for a sleepover. Got all my boys under one roof, guts me that Jay-Dee isn't with us anymore. I'd love to have all my boys together again, but I know its not possible. I have to keep telling myself that my dad and son wouldnt want me to be sad. Im trying my best to live, some days are harder than others and im thankful for days like today.