June 6th Saturday.

Last night for the first time ever, Jesse asked if he could stay up until midnight to do a live event on his ps5. Ive never let him before, but I thought to myself, its Friday night and hes 10 now, so i let him. I turned my tv off at 10pm and was fast asleep. Im medicated so I go sleep pretty early. I dont remember, but Jesse said I woke up at 1am when he climbed into bed with me. I must of still been half asleep. 

I always suffered with insomnia until I was put on Olanzopine. I take it at about half 6 every night and im asleep for 10pm, its great. I thought I was losing my mind when I had insomnia, it was horrible. 

Ive got up today and stripped my bedding and put it on a hot wash because my dog and now my cat sleep with me, along with Jesse haha. Ive got no room in my life for a partner.

Got us a McDonald's breakfast because we always have a breakfast from McDonald's on a Saturday morning.

Jasper will be 18 next Friday, I can't believe it. Literally, the years are passing me by. I feel like I blink and a year has gone. I dissociate so much its bad. I dont remember anything anymore. 

Ive spent the day thinking about my dad and son. Still hits me everyday that they're gone forever. I watch alot of mediums on tiktok and it just clarifys that my dad and sons souls are still with me. I have to believe that, it keeps me going. I really want to go see a medium and I will do when ive got the money.

Can't wait climb into fresh bedding tonight.

Ive got my mate coming tomorrow, so that'll keep my mind occupied. I can never be bothered to socialise, but I always feel better when I have.

Anyway, I watched a 3 part true story on Netflix yesterday called The Witness, if you wanted something new to watch, today im watching Clarksons Farm series 5 on Prime which is new.

And thats my day..