October 26th Sunday.

People keep telling me what an inspiration i am after doing my testimony yesterday. The reason I did my testimony is in the hope that it will help someone else. I'm just a normal girl that's been through 3 traumatic events and im currently fighting for my life everyday. I dont feel like an inspiration, I feel broken and damaged. Yesterday at church it was a day for people who are battling addiction or those like myself that are in recovery. It was called Broken To Blessed and if I can remain sober after everything ive been through, then so can someone else that wants to get sober or someone who is in recovery like me. I hoped my testimony would help someone else on their journey of sobriety. Its still hard you know, some days i crave alcohol and that's when I say a prayer for strength. I still can't believe i stood on a stage yesterday in front of 50 odd people and read out my testimony. Where did my strength come from? Prayer that's where. I'll be honest, as I was reading my testimony, I didn't look up once. I didn't dare look at the audience. I felt myself tearing up as I read to everyone and when I finished and looked up, I could see people crying. It was hard, but I did it. Feeling proud of myself for once. I couldnt wait go sleep last night, I was shattered after spending the whole day in church. I felt so uplifted last night. I still do today if im honest. Ive done nothing today, had a massive lie in, done a wash and dried it but that's it. I was meant be meeting my friends but cancelled because I couldnt be bothered to get dressed haha. Just fancied a lazy pj day. It is Sunday after all. I'm going my sisters tomorrow to carve pumpkins with Jesse and Athena. Ive also got to take my hairdressing scissors to cut Athenas hair. She'll only let Auntie Ann-Louise cut it, bless her. She's only 5 years old. Jasper has not long gone, he slept last night, Jensen has just come in from work and Jesse is in his room on his ps5. Ive just started watching Trigger Point on itvx there's a new season starting tonight, but ive not seen the first 2 seasons so ive started it today. Its good upto now. Anyway, that's my day. Jesse's just having a nice bath now with Detol in. He calls it healing water because it heals his cuts and cleans his skin he says. Ordering a take away for tea and that's it.