August 7th Thursday.

My back is killing me, did I mention I pulled it a few weeks ago? I can't remember, but anyway, it keeps flaring up. The same place is hurting again. Ive not long got back from taking my dog for a walk to try and ease it off but it hasn't worked. The minute we walked through the door, the heavens opened up. Talk about lucky. The pain in my back is knocking me sick, im going have to take some pain killers. Jasper's coming soon so when he gets here im going see my friends for a few hours. I need him here to look after Jesse for me. I was sat looking at Jay-Dees canvas on my wall and my heart sank. Still doesn't seem real that I've lost my son. It breaks my heart everyday. 3 weeks left of the school holidays. Ive been sleeping in till 11am, its going kill me getting back up at 7am. I feel dead deflated today, well I have done the past week really. Think its because im not in a routine or leaving the house much, one of the reasons I've just taken my dog for a walk. It'll be good meet up with my friend's soon and have a good chat about life. I feel a bit lost in life and I dont know why. I'm tired of waking up everyday. Life is draining me. Can't wait for the holidays to be over with if im honest. Back to some sort of normality. I'm going make some sausage and cheese sandwiches i think. Anyway, enjoy the rest of your Thursday.