August 10th Sunday.

Didn't go church this morning but that's ok, i went last week. I should really go every week but some days im just too tired to get up. Jesse and I got dressed today, we took puggy for a walk, then we went to get Jesse a hair cut ready for his day trip tomorrow. Got be up at half 7 in the morning, its going kill me haha. Not been getting up till 11am through these holidays. Jesse let's me sleep in. Ive just had a shower and got into new pjs. How am I feeling today? I feel ok. I have to be ok, i dont have a choice. We never do when we have kids to look after. I dont really cry anymore, im sort of numb. If that makes sense. Ive been through traumatic events and now im just numb. To be honest, I can't wait for them to lower the Olanzopine because I feel like I just drift through each day. The medication is just numbing the pain im feeling. Can't really explain it because im numb, but extremely sad at the same time. Tears dont fall from my eyes anymore. There's nothing in me. I'm just a shell of my old self. I wake up in the morning and count the hours down for bed time. Bed time is my escape from everything. Being asleep is like being dead. An escape from reality. Anyway, its quarter to 5pm now, enjoy the rest of your Sunday.