April 16th Wednesday.

Last night I was getting plates out to plate tea up and I started with Jay-Dees name then Jensens and had to stop myself when it hit me again that Jay-Dee is no longer here. My heart sank all over again.

2 of my friends visited me last night so that took my mind off things, then this morning I found myself watching mini video clips of Jay-Dee. Then my heart sank, once again. My friend has been here all afternoon which once again took my mind off things. I'm so lucky to have friends like mine. I wouldn't get through each day without them. 

I was telling my friend today how I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for my living children.  They are my reason to live.

I'm going my mums for the day tomorrow and she's going do my hair ready for my baptism Sunday. I'm so nervous it's come around so fast. Bit excited too. Anxiety is telling me to cancel it, but strong me is going to go through with it.

I've got Jasper here for the night which is nice. I've got him and Jesse sat with me now. I've had a bath and got in fresh pj's and I'm watching Power still, I'm on season 5 now. There's only 6 seasons.

Thought about shaving my hair off earlier, had to talk myself out of it. Life would be so much easier if I didn't have to deal with my hair.

Today is the day of my 2nd Mounjaro jab. Weighed myself this morning and I lost 5lb for my first week. Made up with a 5lb loss.

Let's hope I can lose 5lb this week, I'll be made up with what ever I lose though, as long as it's a loss.

Anyway, see you tomorrow.