October 8th Tuesday.

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So, this morning, I've been the cafe for an hour, walked Asda get stuff for tea, walked my dog, hoovered downstairs, done a load of washing and done my dishes. All before dinner time.
Had a bit of a manic morning I think.
How am I feeling today? I dunno, I'm just sad all the time.
Went into Jay-Dees room earlier and just stood there for a while. Can't bring myself to sort through his things, so Damian is going to sort his room at some point.
I'm not getting rid of any of his clothes or trainers, they can all go in the loft where I know they're safe.
Our son should still be here, life is so unfair!
All I do everyday, is wait for the time to go fast so I can climb back into bed.
I say I've got no motivation but I've done alot this morning. Some days I don't do a thing, except wish the day away.
I'm so depressed it's unreal.
I fight so hard everyday to just stay alive, its draining. I just want to feel some sort of happiness. Am I asking for too much!?

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