October 3rd Thursday

I was doing ok today until I looked in the food cupboard and spotted Jay-Dees little tub of seasoning he brought for his chicken and rice, and its made me feel sad.

It's always going to happen isn't it?

I'm always going to come across things that remind me of my son.

Life is so cruel.

It still doesn't seem real that my son is gone forever. Can't get my head around it, my heart yearns for my child.

I had my 2nd session of the bereavement course I'm on yesterday.

Once again I cried talking about my child.

I know my grief will never end and I know I've got to learn to live with it, but it's hard.

It's really hard, I miss my son more than anything in the world.

Anyway, I'm just cooking a cottage pie so it's all ready for tea time.

The weeks are passing me by, life is passing me by whilst I'm stuck in grief.

My life stopped, but the world carried on spinning.

I started to grieve the day my dad told me he had terminal cancer. That was 5 years ago. I've been grieving for so long, but I'm still alive and I just don't know how I'm still going.

Anyway, I am still going and that's a positive I guess.